Why not pick up the bottle?

Seriously? Do whatever you want to do. The world really doesn't need you to be a doctor or anything else. Sounds like you're doing what someone else (like your parents) want you to do rather than what you want to do, whatever that might be. If drinking/drugs make you feel better about your life, go ahead. However be aware that if you hit someone with your car while DUI you may ruin any chance you have of ever seeing any enjoyment or "success" in life. Jail sucks. Same thing with drugs-- in order to support a serious drug habit you may have to do all sorts of nasty illegal things which could end up getting you killed or worse, stuck in jail. But if you can avoid such pitfalls, and if your physical constitution allows, you can probably become a functional drunk/druggie and get away with it for many years. The key is to figure out how much makes you feel good without putting you totally out of control. Don't listen to moralists who tell you what's "right" and "wong"-- none of them have the slightest interest in you. Their only concern is to make themselves feel superior by pontificating. And forget all this bible nonsense, that's just a crutch for weak minds who can't take responsibility for their own life and need to pretend daddy is watching from upstairs. Have fun, maybe you'll feel better if you can free yourself from others' expectations...